a confession

I am about to start 11.5 things on Library2play2 to learn more about teaching using technology. Honestly, I am doing this with trepidation.

Not that I don't feel that I can't teach using these tools, this is not the issue. The issue is all the changes with education that have happened since I have started teaching. There have been so many positive changes! I think that it is good that we have learned so much about the way the brain works, and how it learns, and we are changing the way that we teach accordingly. This is the good news.

The not so good news is the NCLB and what comes after, and high stakes testing. Throughout my career, i have changed as I need to, and I have tried to anticipate what I needed to do to facilitate learning of all students. A few years back, I decided to get an ESL certification because i felt that eventually I would need it, and it would be helpful in my role in a school that is a majority Hispanic. Little did I know that this may end up doing the opposite of what I intended.

Short story long, I may get pulled out of a subject that I enjoy teaching to teach a subject that I don't enjoy teaching, an not good at teaching, and have no desire to teach. Not because I am not good at it, and not that I am not successful at teaching the subject. This may happen because I have an ESL certification. I have been told, unless the people who are already assigned to the position get their certification, i will be reassigned. They must have the most "qualified" person in the position that they can. Supposedly, that is me. It doesn't matter that the other person would teach circles around me in that subject. That is the requirement.

How much longer can I handle having no control over my career? This year, I guess I won't know what I will be teaching until I come back from summer break, which only allows me to stew over it all summer. I have been told to work on the assumption that no change will occur. So, I have been putting together class sets of math games and activities, and doing research on how to do things better and more efficiently. My frustration and anxiety remain.